She has the moronic beauty of youth, but she's sly

What women fail to realize, before it's too late, is that all the things that matter are happening while we're young. It's like the cat that caught the cream, and can't stop licking itself... you think it's gonna taste like this forever, but it's not. Only when we have crossed over do we fully realize the potential of our once-young Pussy Appeal. Why is that? Because we're watching the effects of the now-young Pussy Appeal, and it's a revelation. You can't use it when you have it because you don't know what you have until you don't have it and you're sitting there watching the vultures flying around it... waiting for it's death. Only the strong survive. Play your cards right and get everything you want before it gets old ... only a young sly would know that. Keep your eyes open girls, and your legs closed.

If you recognize these symptoms, act accordingly.

Sometimes, you mistake a basic person for a lady/gentleman, but basic people aren't particularly good actors, so time reveals them for what they truly are. If you're having trouble with someone, try reading this and see how you feel about it...

1. A lady/gentleman will make an effort to find common ground with your friends, if they really don't get along with your friends, they'll fake it.
A basic man/woman will whine and concoct ways to seclude you and eventually make you abandon your friends. Divide and conquer is oldest trick in the book.

2. A lady/gentleman will respect your space, opinion and your emotions. They will care if you're upset, and will accommodate you by making you feel better.
A basic man/woman will never accommodate your emotions. They will undermine your opinion and worth by somehow turning the situation around to demonstrate that YOU are the problem.

3. A lady/gentleman will respect the way you distribute your time. If you are out with friends, and they know it, the most they might do is text you... otherwise, you will enjoy your evening with your people .
A basic man/woman will blow your phone the fuck up, might even just 'show up' because they were in the neighborhood.

4. A lady/gentleman know the rules of the game and apply them. If you lie, they act accordingly because they know anyone that they respect who fails to respect them back isn't worth a peanut's shell.
A basic man/woman makes the rules up as they go. Whenever the situation looks down on them, you'll hear a string of new rules and hoops that you have to jump through. A typical symptom is you might feel like you're a crazy, or a peanut's shell.

5. A lady/gentleman has manners. They greet, smile, feed, eat, drink, participate. Nobody knows a lady, or a gentleman's past just by looking at them.
A basic man/woman wears their insecurities like an ugly jersey, why? they have no manners, etiquette, no sense of timing, of appropriateness, and no reliability. It might seem like nothing as you read it, but try dating someone without social skills and you'll see how far it gets you.

6. A lady/gentleman has fashion sense and hygiene. This might seem like a petty thing to write, but believe me. These small matters are above a basic person's intellect. Enough said.

To be continued.

Open Sesame!

What is this phenomenon of open relationships? I'm gonna try very hard to play fair. Very Hard. Open relationship is when two people are dating but are allowed to see other people, OR it's when you're friends with your sex buddy. Your friendly booty call. Of course, some are friendlier than others... and that's where the problems lie. When you're kinda dating your booty call. So what happens in these situations? Well first of all, the lines are blurred. Some guys wanna be 'out' with more booty calls than one, and start saying, grabbing, sucking and doing whatever the hell inspires them at that moment. Then call You, the kind of booty call, and bring all that to rest. In your bed. You start wondering why you're now going on dates, meeting friends, possibly family... and the booty call lines get fizzed. Sometimes, a booty call will book you for 8pm, and show up at midnight.. what has happened in the meantime? you sat tapping your foot. While they did what was on the menu, and kept you locked. Of course this runs both sides... but overall I just don't get it. I feel like open relationships are a mirage... to be continued as I learn more.

The X Chronicles

Human beings are in endless competition. Especially when they used to love each other. Man Man Man, if there was a pill... I'd buy the shares. In really treacherous relationships, it comes to an explosive end, and everyone is salty salty salty. They say you are allowed to spend half of the time you spent dating someone getting over them? Really? It's too political. Who's the loser in the relationship? Who's the one that got bamboozled? Who calls the other first? Who got laid first? Do they use the same lines? Who moved on to someone else first? Do they fuck like you used to? Do they treat them better? Do you keep the mutual friends? Do you entertain the mutual friends? What happens when you meet again? It's too much. To avoid this questionnaire I usually block all contact with an ex. To the point that I sometimes completely forget who I dated, and embarrass myself with my puzzled expression when I'm trying to remember their name. I'm a particularly emotional, supra sensitive (that means sensitive to the nth degree) so many people think I'm being an asshole, or I must get around a lot to forget someone I dated, but it's the only way I know for a fact that has worked for me. Lately I've been experimenting with new ways of communication and really observing other peoples methods of handling these kinds of situations, and all I can say to it is:COMPLICATED. To each his own I guess. I don't know why I ever tested myself. I'm just not a particularly nice person.

One of the main differences between a basic bish + the real thing.

Is the will to serve. I've come to an understanding about myself. I love giving to those who give back. I disassociate myself from one way situations, because I've gotten myself involved in many of them. Sometimes I would wonder if I was talking to myself when I said "I loooove Valentines day. Don't let it pass if you expect to get results out of me" (or the yearly Birthday shpeel) + more often than not, I've dated guys who couldn't care less. What I don't get is this... people are a unit, we desire to exchange energy. Why would you expect someone to give + give you all the time without you giving back? Is that really all you have to offer? Some people blow my mind.
So, I'm watching a semi-famous person do a youtube cooking segment and she ends it by saying, "the next time your man says, 'Baby, can you make me a sammich?' you can do this" so I'm like, oskizzo. Nice. Then I scroll down and see a comment talking about "Thank God my man loves ME, not his maid" and I thought to myself <---- that right there is the difference between a basic bitch + the extraordinary woman. Limited edition. I've had some people talk shit about the way I treat my man, "Oh, you do too much. Doing all that will make him get used to it and he'll never do shit for you girl"... Some of them were right, but what can I say? Thobekile is a woman who caters to her man, + I won't change that about me just because I ran into yet another asshole. I'm a giver by nature boo... I love treating someone I love as the ultimate number one. If my man asks me to make dinner and there's nothing stopping me from cooking it up, I will. If my man asks me for a massage, I'm getting on it. I like giving. I think there are a MILLION benefits to saturating your relationship in lover-shit. Smothering each other in everything that makes a relationship syrupy sweet. I can't tell you how elated I am to be involved with a man who understands the importance of exchange, and thus does for me too. Scratches my back because I scratch his. I hate it when people think doing special things for your significant other is demoting yourself to the level of a maid. Why? Is it because I believe being with someone is not only about sex, and marriage and children or whatever the fuck else, it's also about how you treat each other as lovers? Because I believe the things I do on a daily basis really shows my man how I feel? If someone I love politely asks for a sammich, why shouldn't I make it? Especially when I know that the next time I need anything, anything at all, I know he's right there for me. There's nothing wrong with giving people what they deserve, and therefore getting you what you deserve. A Loving Relationship. Showing each other the real luxury in doing for others what they do for you. Scratch my back baby...

Return the Flavor

Disclaimer --> I once heard a someone say that in every relationship, there is the rose and the gardener. It's important you never realize who's who, because everyone wants to be the rose. Moral of story, a selfish lover takes and barely gives (Shame on them)
As for some of our favorite foreplay... fellatio + cunningulus. Now that's some politics. Unless you're fortunate enough to be involved with a sensualist... you might have more trouble getting some more than giving some. The best sex equation, is seduction + foreplay = orgasms. Most women need seduction and need foreplay to really get a full body orgasm, but that cards a cop out. Basically if you're the you're the one doing all the gardening in the sheets, you're probably watering that rose so hard you pass out from dehydration! Gardeners find themselves more often than they should, not getting an experience they'd appreciate more. The nerve of some roses--> "nobody asked you to do it" bwa bwa bwa... if you like it, then everyone likes it. Don't be greedy. Roses on the other hand might never realise they get it all, all the time. So... thanks so me. All the roses can look inside themselves and stop this mess!! GIVE IT BAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKKK dammet!!

How to know if I want you

Since I was a young one, I've been accused of being a tease. Leading them oooonnn and on and on. (It's an art) and every time I was cornered to 'stop playing games'... 'I should know what it is'... I've come back with the legendary answer; If I want you, you'll know it. There would be NO questions what-so-ever. This is as honest as I can get. When I want a guy, there's no complications, no qualms, no mixed messages, no flirt-decoding necessary. It's just me + you today today today. Now, one day boys will understand that just because a girl smiles at you, flirts, and maybe texts you back... doesn't mean she wants your dick. I've entertained many people I'm not even REMOTELY attracted to this way. Out of boredom? possibly. It's also very possible I'm using you, and I already know what to do to make you think you might have a chance - for the sole purpose of getting what I want. Yes. I do this. And I'm not the only one. There was a time last year when I was confronted, and I replied my usual, and they said "whattabout this?" "whattabout that?", I sat there wondering what the hell made this boy think I want him? he laid out some interesting points...
1. I was enthusiastic to see him.
2. I was going out of my way to hang out.
3. I've been doing this kind of thing to him since high school... its time I stopped playing games.
This is how I reacted to these accusations. So what I was enthusiastic to see you? I'm enthusiastic to see all my members (especially the VIP's) of my friend zone! So what if I want to hang out? Going 'out of my way' to hang out would be going to Las Vegas to 'hang out' with you. Going up a few streets is usually what we all have to do to hang out. Meet at a common place. Duuuhhh. Number 3 is the bread winner here... "I've been doing this since high school" He's right. I have. And if I supposedly wanted him then why was I almost always dating someone else? He would drive me to the party where I would go and meet the guy I'm really interested in. It's not my fault if you don't know when you're in the friend zone... but it is your job to make sure you're never in the friend zone. So, how do you make sure you're never in the friend zone? Make YOUR intentions clear from the jump. And don't assume anything. Never assume anything. If you want me, and you've told me, and we're still just going around in circles then move on. Step. Believe you me if I didn't want you in 2002, I probably don't want you now (Unless you were the ugly duckling that has grown into a beautiful swan, and I'm quite happily surprised - which is almost never the case). Also, don't aggressively pursue me unless you're 100% positive I want it too. Don't push all on me and annoy the life out of me about getting together or campaign to come to my house unless you heard sure fire words similar to these spoken by MY lips directly to your ear; "I want you"... "I want you to myself"... "I want you to myself right now"... lol... the list goes on.

A Lie Box is a Necessary Ingredient

Why why why I beg, do people not know how to keep their stories straight? Only aspiring master Puppeteers (if you have no idea what this means, look up previous blog) are the ones that need lie boxes... if you're out there. Telling fibs and shit. Keep a lie box. I can't stand it when someone tells you one thing, then tells you another, and you have to be there digging digging solving puzzles faster than Denzel in "A Man On Fire" ... Keep track of your lies. Only 'real' people would keep it real with you 100% 24/7, but we all know real people are dying by the dozens.
That's all I have to say right now, don't look like an idiot. Keep your stories straight. A lie box would be a good tool if you have a lousy memory like mine.

The Puppet, The Puppeteer + The Magician.

Disclaimer -> I decided to rename it from the title I posted on facebook that I don't care to repeat. So we were talking about assholes + ho's, + sometimes I ask myself, what have I learned so far this year? One thing is that it's just as hard to find a good woman as it is to find a good man. I was told that a Nice Guy might behave as an Asshole would, to get what he wants, because Nice Guys don't win. This goes vice versa, Assholes can act like Nice Guys too. So can Ho's... Ho's 'play the part' often... and reveal their Ho-ness when their talons are too deep inside the flesh. You have to be a strong human being to escape a Master Puppeteer! These take every form and shape. It might be compared to the relationship between a pimp + his ho. The ho knows better than to depend on the pimp for anything at all, yet she keeps coming back. He beats her, then says he loves her... he takes ALL her money, she only gives him more. This love (mostly hate and dependence) slash, back + forth dance can go on for years and years... even if you realize you're the puppet. What rarely happens is the visitation of The Magician! it's the work of The Magician when The Puppeteer becomes considerate, and returns to human form, made to love and nurture. The Magician is The Revolutionary Puppet, the one that came to life and burned the whole show down, and it makes The Puppeteer realize that this is not Burger King (you can't have it your way). The side effects of The Magician's work is the resentment that blooms in a Puppet once they see their made over Puppeteer, shining and new in Human Form... treating another human being like a human being. Which wouldn't have been possible minus The Magician, The Revolutionary Puppet. I have no idea if I'm making sense, all I'm really asking is "why can't we be happy?" Because we're so busy playing games! Puppeteers don't want other puppeteers! They want HUMANS! They want the fruits of a Good tree! They want the good stuff!! The Good Stuff make excellent Puppets! So to my fellow human beings, I've decided a sure fire method of cleansing yourself from puppeteers, once you realize you are in fact connected to strings and rods (you're a puppet)... pretend to be a puppeteer. Puppeteers are generally disgusted by one another, they break out in hives and take off running! Try it risk free for 30 days, if you don't like it... bring it back.

The Friend Zone!!

Most people believe that the friend zone is where a woman will put a man if she's not sexually attracted to him. Come to find out, women put themselves in the friend zone too. More than once... I've witnessed myself and other females sneak through the pretend-friend door just so you can really get a hands-on account on how this person REALLY is, and you end up getting along SO well that we find ourselves in the friend zone. I think it's hilarious when women are in deep infatuation with a guy they are friends with, and only really admit it to ourselves when it's waaaay too late to start fessing up that you like him, plus it's always totally inappropriate if he has a girl (which he usually does) and you're pretending to be the advisor of it all. Just as a PSA... ladies, if you like a guy you're friends with and he's already involved with someone, please don't pull the "she doesn't know you like I do" card. It's not secksy when you sell yourself on the inadequacies of someone else... not secksy at all.
The remix of this is the dick-in-a-glass-jar syndrome. (DEFINITION; A woman's 'platonic' friend. Incase of emergency, BREAK GLASS!!) Sometimes women find a very special Dick-in-a-glass-jar friend. This man will do pretty much everything the boyfriend does, except be physically intimate with you, only because YOU don't want him to be intimate with you... until he moves on. The minute a woman realizes her dick-in-a-glass-jar has suddenly dissapeared (maybe because he's lost interest or he's found a squeeze), she reacts like a heartbroken lover. Showing all the signs of jealousy, negativity, and possessiveness. All of a sudden, she wants him around badly. She's desperately flirting. She's damaging a relationship. She's hating on his new squeeze. All of a sudden, she's ready to break the glass. It makes me throw my head back and laugh... I've been in the line of fire of these kinds of things approximately 100 times.

When A Good Guy goes Bad. Real Baaaaad.

Recently, I had a conversation with a good guy friend of mine whom I've always considered to be a 'good guy', or a 'stand up guy'. Every relationship he's in that he's told me about he sells this 'good guy' image to me, and from what I remember from way back when - he can back it up. So what is this about? He's often found himself in a relationship that he's not willing to elevate. The girl he's currently seeing is supposedly caught up with him , and planning for the future. Whilst he can't confess he can't even see beyond three days, he goes along selling her pipe dreams. He doesn't see them together at all. In fact, he's planning to completely remove himself from the situation in the near future except... he doesn't want to break her heart after she's confessed to him that she wants to 'throw it in the bag' . He doesn't want to admit to her that he's just not that into her. He's in it for the ride, and she's in it for life. Now he's found himself doing things he doesn't usually do... like cheat. I feel somewhat sorry for him, sometimes normal un-assholic guys just want a laid back relationship, but what happens when you're not an asshole to a woman? She probably wants to marry you. Next thing you know, its ten years later and you have a ring and kids but no love. Like many stand-up guys I know, he's slowly morphing into an asshole, because for a guy being an asshole has an easier job description since everyone is expecting the worst. The flip side of that is everyone IS expecting the worst. I'm not advocating cheating or assholes, Lord knows my asshole allergies, but I can't stress enough how important it is to state your position repeatedly in relationships to avoid disease, confursion, and heart break hotel check-ins. It sure must be hard to be a good guy and not be a serial monogamist... What ya'll think?

A Pretty Girl's Blog. The preview...

Well. I thought I should have a template to kind of kick off what my next book is going to circulate around. Nothing like relationship marinade... its the blood of us twenty something year old's. Welcome to the beginning

xoxo