The Energy Never Dies

It's my favorite time of the year (it's officially better than my birthday, who woulda thunk it?) Not because of xmas, although that's dope. It's more about how happy and hopeful and resolute people are... I love collective fever.

My new years resolutions (yes, I always do this and it works for me - dammet) are:

1. To be a nicer person.

It's not that I'm a meanie - I'm an amazing person. When I like you.
I just need to learn how to handle my negative emotions better. What I typically do is, when I'm pissed at someone - I cut myself off. I usually say a bunch of shit I don't mean, so I don't risk that chance by hanging around and talking about it. Of course, this needs to change. When I was writing one of the 30 day letters, I realized that I was imposing the worst kind of pain I ever experienced onto other people. Which is just, not Nice. I don't like causing pain if I don't have to. The only time I have allowed myself to inflict pain onto someone else is if I am under attack. Literally and figuratively.

Ultimately, I'm hoping to repair my karma. I need ALL the good fortune and blessings I can get. And I know some people are ingrates, which is fine Lord, if anyone doesn't want their blessings - feel free to give them to me!

2. To get my munny up.

I've been writing business plans (yes, only I can take 24 credits in a semester and promise myself to be drunk for 3 days right afterwards but instead end up writing business plans and looking for jobs like a man with his head on fire looks for water) and now that I have solid numbers... Things in the bank need to happen, and they needed to happen last week.

3. To wear my heart on my sleeve like Michael Scott.

Watch a full season (any) of the American version of The Office to know what I mean

I've realized that there is a lot of "Fronting" in the streets. People have an obsession with control - I am not the exception, but I want to take a different approach to my life and my love. I want to tell and show people exactly how I feel, nothing held back - even the babyish things. Honestly I think I'm a victim of misunderstanding, and I want people to know exactly who they were/are to me. I also want more "live" love. As in face on. I don't like texting or emailing about serious matters, if we're having a problem - either come to me in person or call me if you can't travel. I'll bake a cake, and we can talk about it over tea (I'm a tea-stan) or "cawfee" *in my new york accent*