MAN! I just shitted on 'em!

HOOOOLLLLLLLLLLD UP!!

HOLD THEEEEE FUUUUCCCCCCK UUUUUPPPPPPPP! TIME-OUT MOTHERFUCKERS TIME-THEFUCK-OUT!!!!
*blows whistle*

Now I'm going to address this bullshit, and God Bless the individuals who still spread this stupid shit.

I commend the individual who first figured out that desperately lonely women was a potential market. My God - where they right. How did we come to this? I ask.

It all began with recognizing that humans are social and sexual creatures. We NEED relationships. And some genius took that female brain, CONVINCED it to take responsibility for EVERY gahtdamnthing men FAIL at, HUMANS fail at - and carry that shit in our purses EVERYWHERE we go.

I digress. Let's talk about Marriage, an institution with the best PR I've ever seen. You're really going to read all these books and articles to convince you that it's YOUR fault you're not married, because marriage is this amazing thing that you should dedicate your life to experience.

And then you get married.

And then you realize that marriage is a glorified relationship.

And relationships suck. Ass.

I mean, why else are you single now?

Isn't it because you paid $50 for a .50 cent item?

And you think Husbands are some Wonderful Men don't you?

No. They're not.

They are just Men.

Like every other man you fucked and loved and then realized you can't do this shit for ONE more day with and broke up.

Or whatever.

People tell you, "your boyfriends suck because you suck". Then you go to all these dumbass classes, read all these dumbass books. Indeed. Change your life! Because there is a rumor about this Dream Man - who has a salary, with benefits, little to no debt, no kids, no baggage, sexy as hell, and who is faithful. Loyal. DEDICATED.

So you become this perfect female. For this "dream man" But guess what? Dream men are in your DREAMS.

If you want to change yourself for the better, I have two suggestions for who and what to do it for.

1. YOU
2. MONEY

No man will ever be good enough, Girl. Not a single human walks this planet without faults. So why theeeeee fuck are you contributing your time, your energy, your money, to making a good wife? And listening to all these UNQUALIFIED STRANGERS tell you how to play your cards?

As if being Married is something to be proud of? EVERYONE is married. UNHAPPILY married at that. Being Married ain't shit. Being rich? THAT'S some shit. Barely anyone I know is RICH. Damn near EVERYONE I know is married. That should tell you something. Everybody knows Valuable things aren't easily achieved. If anybody can do it, it ain't worth shit. Why do you think McDonalds pays minimum wage?

Single Ladies, Just look at these titles: Why men love bitches, why men MARRY bitches, your degree's won't keep you warm at night, he's just not that into you, Why you're not married, Act like a Lady Think like a man (he sold two million copies), Stuck on stupid, Ladies! Listen Up!...

Don't those Titles INSULT you? Your intelligence?

Shiiiit if someone told me I "could" earn TWO MILLION DOLLARS from shitting on men, I'd do it too. I would go Hard in the Paint on alot of shit. Incase you don't believe me I would go IN on the following;

1. Broke ass men
2. Late ass men
3. Over-Reaching ass men
4. Low Libido ass men
5. Short ass men
6. Asshole ass men
7. Whore ass men
8. Small Dick ass men
9. Insecure ass men
10. Unhealthy ass men
11. DESERVE respect without EARNING respect ass men
12. Men with MANGINA's ass men
13. UnCLEAN ass men
14. Unambitious ass men
15. Leachy ass men
16. "no-homo" ass men
17. One Minute ass men
18. Uncircumsized ass men (No. 18 is some REAL shit to me. Fuck do we get brazilians for when we can't get a clean working area too?)
19. Rude ass men
20. Dumb ass men

Must I go on? Because I can. And if I KNEW these dudes would eat all my shit up and buy it off of amazon.com- sheeeeiiiiit, I would DO IT!!

Moral of the story is, don't listen to the propaganda. Make sure you live your life for your happiness. Fuck stressing yourself about Marriage. Fuck Advice Books from these unknowledgeable, untrained, uncultured, unqualified, imbiciles who are looking to make fast money by exploiting your naivete. Fuck all the people who try to tell you how to behave when they themselves have nothing to show for shit.

There is only one rule a smart person has: Learn from he who has that which you want.

Which means, if you're getting marriage advice, you better get it from the people who have the marriage YOU want. Not OTHER single people, or bitches that have been married THRICE and think that's some shit to be proud of. Get the Fuck outta here you feeble heaux. The vows involve FOR BETTER AND WORSE, I guess you just heard the "for better" part THREE TIMES IN A ROW huh?

So you want someone who will "love" you forever? That's not Marriage. Marriage doesn't require love. It requires signatures.

That is all!