Be Whole. Then Plus One.

I just saw the title of an article: Marriage was not designed to make you Happy.

Really now? Is that the thing you find out After the wedding? Is that what happens After you sail into the sunset? You find THAT out? What an unpleasant surprise. *snickers*

Us humans who don't like facing our situations for what they are will often tuck our ticks, insecurities, disatisfactions, and guilty pleasures under the rug. And when someone comes along who infatuates you, and you initially feel so damn good around them you can't imagine ever feeling not good - you just have it in your mind that all your problems dissipate in their presence. So then you want them around all the time. So then you marry them.

After the butterflies and rainbows disappear. You have the person. The Human. And you still have your bullshit. Except now there are two of you. Two Great People, with their bullshit to go with it.

I see this. I realize this. In a wild attempt to duck the bombs, I've come to the following conclusion:

Make sure that you have everything you need to be happy before getting in a relationship. Make sure that you have ALL corners covered. Money is right. Spirituality is right. Health is right. Relationships are right. So that the ONLY reason you want a partner is for Play ... and because you take such good care of yourself, you will see who brings what to the table with clear vision. You can see people CLEARLY when you take good care of yourself. You can't use anyone for anything when you supply everything for yourself. Relationships then become what they were always supposed to be - FUN. FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN.

And if you fall in love, well - what's FUNNER than that?

As for marriage, I have no advice. Never been married. Have no intentions on being married

Unless... Well .... I do want to know what it's like to be married to someone who's as dedicated to happiness and fulfillment as I am. I just wanna know what a household made of "STRIVERS" would be like. I'm pretty fierce as a one-man wolf pack. But if there were two? What exactly, are the possibilities?

Just a thought.

Anyway, here's the article ----- http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2011/02/18/marriage-was-not-designed-to-make-you-happy/