Confessions Of A Pretty Girl

Sometimes, every now and again, you meet a pretty girl who is quite oblivious to the effect she has on the masses. I myself don't like to imagine I grew up pretty. 100% convinced I was an ugly duckling that bloomed in 1998, and I have much documented evidence to support this thesis. I made up for what I lacked in looks, in wittyness. My silver tongue has one too many times gotten ten paces ahead of me, resulting in many violences. Some wins, some losses. The moment an undercover pretty girl realizes the potential of her weapononry, it's a portal to a pretty girls holy house. Invincibility. The only reason I found out I was pretty was because the minute I got to high school, the boys flocked. This had never happened in Primary School. (It might be due to the demographics, and social circumstances) but still. If nobody pursues you, and nobody compliments the symmetry of your facial features, how can you know you're pretty? Armed with my old "hard times" ammunition, and my new "pretty girl" ammunition, I made a few observations. Resulting in some of my neurosis. I hope this makes you laugh :-)

1. When I like a guy (even when I'm dating him), I like to see his track record. I know I'm pretty, but I'm not THAT pretty, so I like to see who's league I'm competing in. The Ugly girls, The Pretty Girls or The Gorgeous girls? If a guy dates or messes with even one Ugly Girl, a Pretty Girl usually feels that if he's attracted to that, there's no way he'll go anywhere with me. Because an Ugly Girl and a Pretty Girl are so vaaaaastly different! and no Pretty Girl wants to be looped up with Ugly Girls. It would make her feel UnPretty. We can't have that.

2. There's much to learn from Smart Ugly Girls. Smart Ugly Girls, being at a huge disadvantage, are quite good sources for all kinds of information. I hate to say this but this is a confession session, and we're fam right? Smart Ugly Girls will show you the best scents, the best sex tricks, the best recipes, and the best way to sexify your style... It's because you upgrade by hanging around them that they can make really great friends. Unlike Basic Ugly Girls, they will not act thirsty in public, or 'hate' on you, or frump your swagger. Nobody likes an Ugly People, but Smart Ugly Girls are an exception. They are popular and fun. Always adding Spice to the air.

3. It just dawned on me, I can say anything to most people. I bet if I was Ugly and said even half the things I say to people it wouldn't fly even for one day. I'm not rude, even though when I'm HONGRY I'm liable to bring out my "other" personality, it's quite a trip saying ANYTHING to people. AAAANNNNNNNNYYYYYTHING. All my friends will tell you about how I really shouldn't meet trippy, boring, or socially misunderstood characters, because in less than 3 minutes, I'll call them out and completely leave the atmosphere as awkward as seeing a snake with butt cheeks.

4. Pretty Girls are usually aware of what they're doing. Every time A Pretty Girl wants something done, if she's smart... she'll play her cards and alter the table so the outcome always lands in her flavor. I never directly damage a relationship for my benefit (Yes, I've done this a select amount of times), but if it was a movie, and you saw how my character did certain things or said certain things to certain catalysts that would then take the fall for me... then you'd know who the real Puppeteer was. This might sound like too much effort to some people, but to me, it only makes life juicier. Even when it happens to me. Never underestimate what people will do to get what they want.