Well. It's been an eventful two weeks, and among other things - I have upset people. Because I prioritize my own needs (of course). You see, when certain things happen, and I experience an epiphany (this one came at 1.40am Aug 29th according to my twitter account ) I behave in what others may translate as bizarre behavior. So I'm going to write this, and then I'm going to bury it and let it rest.
My personality is savage, but it's not my character. My character revolves around my well being and my happiness. MY happiness is imperative for ME to enjoy (In-Joy) MY life. When I do things for myself that end up hurting people, it usually has nothing to do with them - per say, but a lot to do with me. Once upon a time in my teenage years, a good friend of mine wanted to date me, and in fact - everyone thought we were dating. One day he seriously asked me to go steady, but the problem was, I had seen him buttering up another girl all week. So I said no. But the other girl said yes. And that girl proceeded to believe that I was jealous of her, because "she had my man" or whatever. When people accuse me of jealousy I always wonder to myself what it is they have exactly that they are so convinced that I want? My confidence isn't fake. There is seriously nothing other people have that I want. (Except for munny). Over the years I've realized that when people cannot understand your actions, they will pull the jealousy card. Until now the boy doesn't know that the reason why I didn't go steady with him in high school was because I hate sharing. I think of it like my food. If I'm eating food, and a fly lands on that food, I'm not interested anymore. I'm totally turned off. No matter how hungry I am, I'm throwing away my entire plate. When it comes to people the same rule applies. I have serious indifference to the outside world because I do everything I can to make people feel good, and when I feel that I'm being taken advantage of, me and my four eyes just don't See any benefit from trying any harder, persevering, or accommodating any more. I almost never defend my reasoning, my logic, my actions, and the way I want my life. Indeed, why bother talking about it at all? If I say that I hate tomatoes, and you bring me tomatoes, then should I repeat myself? or may I reserve the right to throw the tomatoes away?
This "throwing away of tomatoes" is what happens when I am in an unhealthy situation, and I have a moment of vivid clarity. Not only are my thoughts as clear as Smart Water, but my body begins to react - and I begin to feel as if I am ill. As if I have a physical ailment. My oesophagus gets taught (causing me to have trouble breathing). My lower back muscles clench. My heart feels like someone is squeezing, and releasing it. The adrenaline rushes through me and I can literally feel the blood pump through my aorta and vena cava. My tummy gets runny. I won't be able to sleep peacefully. And these symptoms do not let me rest until I make serious changes. Negative energy takes over me, and sits down for a cup of tea until I extract myself from whatever is happening. So Ladies and Gentlemen, everyone reading this who has ever been through/survived one of my "social cleanses" knows what I'm talking about. I take no prisoners, and I don't like feeling the way the above description feels. Some may have a stomach for it, but I don't. I know the things I do for myself hurt people sometimes, and I don't like inflicting pain on people - but I will do whatever I have to do to make sure I'm Happy.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Saturday, August 21, 2010
I Am A Straight Girl
I had to say it.
Time and time again (3 times this week alone), I am answering questions about "Would I fuck another girl?". "Would I like to be in a threesome?" I have problems with this.
I don't fantasize about women. The mere thought of vagina in my mouth makes me gag. Boobs are boobs. I can admit when a girl is hot. I can ADMIRE her body, but I don't want to fuck her - or anything like it. I grew up in boarding school, I saw naked girls all the time. It didn't phase me. I never faltered from The Dick - other girls kissed other girls while I fantasized about senior boys. I don't even respect lesbian sex (only because if I did the things lesbians do with each other with a man, I wouldn't call it sex. I'd call it "fooling around"). No I'm not a homophobe, I'm just a Straight Girl. I want a nice big and healthy hard dick, a hard chest, strong arms, a deep voice, someone stronger than me... and all that jazz. If I can have two - even better!
I know there are bisexual girls all over this planet.. everywhere, and the older I get, the more men who ask me these questions repeatedly wonder why I can't be more accommodating to their fantasies. I don't blame them, women bend over backwards for the continuation of the Stroking of the high and mighty Male Ego (I know a woman that recommends women work, come home and clean, insert a stripper pole into the kitchen, throw away all ugly[comfy] underwear and learn how to cook like a chef, for Him. - apparently, all this also helps to nurture a woman's spirit... *Pause.* To each his own.)
Listen up boys! They way you don't do dudes is the way I don't do bishes. The way you can't imagine sucking another mans dick is the way I don't want a vagina anywhere near my mouth cavity. The way you can't bear the thought of a stiff shaft entering your anus and rectum is the way I can't cope with trying to sexually please a woman. This is a democracy, and I have the right to choose who I want to fuck.
To put it in simple terms, I don't fuck girls.
Thank you so much for your time, Have a nice day.
Time and time again (3 times this week alone), I am answering questions about "Would I fuck another girl?". "Would I like to be in a threesome?" I have problems with this.
I don't fantasize about women. The mere thought of vagina in my mouth makes me gag. Boobs are boobs. I can admit when a girl is hot. I can ADMIRE her body, but I don't want to fuck her - or anything like it. I grew up in boarding school, I saw naked girls all the time. It didn't phase me. I never faltered from The Dick - other girls kissed other girls while I fantasized about senior boys. I don't even respect lesbian sex (only because if I did the things lesbians do with each other with a man, I wouldn't call it sex. I'd call it "fooling around"). No I'm not a homophobe, I'm just a Straight Girl. I want a nice big and healthy hard dick, a hard chest, strong arms, a deep voice, someone stronger than me... and all that jazz. If I can have two - even better!
I know there are bisexual girls all over this planet.. everywhere, and the older I get, the more men who ask me these questions repeatedly wonder why I can't be more accommodating to their fantasies. I don't blame them, women bend over backwards for the continuation of the Stroking of the high and mighty Male Ego (I know a woman that recommends women work, come home and clean, insert a stripper pole into the kitchen, throw away all ugly[comfy] underwear and learn how to cook like a chef, for Him. - apparently, all this also helps to nurture a woman's spirit... *Pause.* To each his own.)
Listen up boys! They way you don't do dudes is the way I don't do bishes. The way you can't imagine sucking another mans dick is the way I don't want a vagina anywhere near my mouth cavity. The way you can't bear the thought of a stiff shaft entering your anus and rectum is the way I can't cope with trying to sexually please a woman. This is a democracy, and I have the right to choose who I want to fuck.
To put it in simple terms, I don't fuck girls.
Thank you so much for your time, Have a nice day.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Dear Lyfe, and Steve... Before I buy the car...
I take it for a test drive.
Basically Lyfe and Steve think holding out for a dude for at least 3 Months should guarantee a man's heart. Even though I feel for what Lyfe Jennings and Steve Harvey are trying to communicate... I can't co-sign. Why? There's a lot FOR ME to consider before entering a "relationship"... but before I dive into it, I'd just like to mention how funny it is that all these men think women do all this sleeping around because "we don't cherish ourselves, or we don't respect our [idea that body=]temples" because we had a fucked up father. Nope. Sometimes, we just wanna fuck. It's true. Just like You.
I too love it when I get FREAKY sexts, and I too Don't want to know your likes and dislikes, and I Don't want to know your family or which school you go to, I Don't want to watch or spend anytime "getting to know you"... Why? Simple. Because I. Don't. Care.
For them to assume that ALL we're interested in getting from men is a Husband is pretty presumptuous... I mean, have you read the job description of a "wife" lately? Well, let's just say I'd LOVE to have a wife too!
So then, why in the world would I hold out for 3 ENTIRE MONTHS when meeting a guy I'm attracted to? Do these dudes know exactly how much can go wrong for me in sex? Let me open this pandora's box special for Lyfe Jennings and Steve Harvey.
1. Size DOES Matter
This is 2010, and I don't like getting tricked. You small dicked men know you're small dicked, so what do you do? You do EVERYTHING else right... such as... send me flowers, buy me presents, take me out and cuddle with me when Auntie Flow is KILLING me. Okay, so I really like you now. We're three months in - I'm amazed at his performance outside of the bedroom, I'm obsessed with the boy and I can't wait to ride that shit like a pony. Then I see it/feel it [or rather Don't feel it] and now what?? What the fuck is this shit? My emotions are involved and I don't have the heart to tell you to pack it up without feeling a total bish. So I keep quiet. I mean, its not like he can fix it. And can't I compromise? The relationship keeps going, and only one person is getting their sexual needs met. God Forbid this shit lands to a proposal. Preposterous!
2. Okay, it's a beautiful cock, now, Can You Use It?
I truly believe it takes two to make sex bad, but sometimes - you meet people that are the SOLE responsible party for making sex whack. If you're feeling self conscious right about now, then here's a tip. You can tell if you're good or bad in bed by how many people call you back for more. Only someone who enjoyed fucking you will come back for re-runs. If you have more call-backs than one night stands - you're okay. Unless you dwell in this "sneak attack" zone where you make them like you first, or as my ninja so eloquently puts it... you hire INTERNS, which is just plain foul play. So your foul ass might have to get direct customer reviews to find out where you stand behind closed doors. Happy counting!
Anyway, if I wait for 3 months - or as Lyfe advised - tell him I'm celibate... and now the D is just the size I like it - but still nothings poppin'... then what? Because I'm 24 and anyone whos been here for over 20 years should know how to handle a body by now, do I want to be your coach? No. Do I want to get Properly Laid? Yes. I've been in love with someone who was bad in bed before, it's no fun AT ALL (the rest is history). Let me be the one to tell you, getting them out of your bed is not an issue - it's the getting them out of your head part that's fucked up. So why should I bother knowing your favorite food (Until I know you know what to Do with the D)?
3. Is your Money where your Mouf is?
I love head. Any of my ninjas and ex's will tell you how much I love head... it is the shit. Like, for reals. Just put your whole face in it please. And men can smell this on me. Why else would I meet alot of men that like saying they'll eat it like a cannibal? but when push comes to shove... I wish they would! I hate it when I reeeally like someone that rarely gives head. My least favorite thing is to realize I spent a weekend giving head without getting it back... selfish lovers are disgusting to me. And I keep an extra eye out for them, because they're the SNEAKIEST. Once I realize I'm in a one sided sexual relationship... count me out.
4. As this blog comes to an end - I'd like to give special mention to longevity, and to sex drive. If you're a guy that can't last over ten minutes in bed, I need you to practice... I need you to last at LEAST 45 mins to an Hour, unless we're having a quickie. and if you don't like having sex at least once a day - you need not apply. Don't waste any of my time please.
This three month rule interferes with all factors. People are lovely, but if I can't have these things - I'm not dating you. Period. I'm 24 - I don't want to train someone, and then we break up, and then I go celibate again for another 3 months because I met someone else, and do this shit all over again. #nothanks. I've compromised enough! I've dated the small dick, the bad in bed, the one minute man, the one with a low low low libido, and the one stingy with head... why? BECAUSE I GOT TO KNOW THEM BEFORE TESTING THE GOODS.
To summarize this letter Mr. Jennings and Mr. Harvey - all I'm saying is...
Fuck That Shit.
[let that marinate... then] Come up with something else.
#thatisall
#gooddaysir!
#Iamdonehere
Basically Lyfe and Steve think holding out for a dude for at least 3 Months should guarantee a man's heart. Even though I feel for what Lyfe Jennings and Steve Harvey are trying to communicate... I can't co-sign. Why? There's a lot FOR ME to consider before entering a "relationship"... but before I dive into it, I'd just like to mention how funny it is that all these men think women do all this sleeping around because "we don't cherish ourselves, or we don't respect our [idea that body=]temples" because we had a fucked up father. Nope. Sometimes, we just wanna fuck. It's true. Just like You.
I too love it when I get FREAKY sexts, and I too Don't want to know your likes and dislikes, and I Don't want to know your family or which school you go to, I Don't want to watch or spend anytime "getting to know you"... Why? Simple. Because I. Don't. Care.
For them to assume that ALL we're interested in getting from men is a Husband is pretty presumptuous... I mean, have you read the job description of a "wife" lately? Well, let's just say I'd LOVE to have a wife too!
So then, why in the world would I hold out for 3 ENTIRE MONTHS when meeting a guy I'm attracted to? Do these dudes know exactly how much can go wrong for me in sex? Let me open this pandora's box special for Lyfe Jennings and Steve Harvey.
1. Size DOES Matter
This is 2010, and I don't like getting tricked. You small dicked men know you're small dicked, so what do you do? You do EVERYTHING else right... such as... send me flowers, buy me presents, take me out and cuddle with me when Auntie Flow is KILLING me. Okay, so I really like you now. We're three months in - I'm amazed at his performance outside of the bedroom, I'm obsessed with the boy and I can't wait to ride that shit like a pony. Then I see it/feel it [or rather Don't feel it] and now what?? What the fuck is this shit? My emotions are involved and I don't have the heart to tell you to pack it up without feeling a total bish. So I keep quiet. I mean, its not like he can fix it. And can't I compromise? The relationship keeps going, and only one person is getting their sexual needs met. God Forbid this shit lands to a proposal. Preposterous!
2. Okay, it's a beautiful cock, now, Can You Use It?
I truly believe it takes two to make sex bad, but sometimes - you meet people that are the SOLE responsible party for making sex whack. If you're feeling self conscious right about now, then here's a tip. You can tell if you're good or bad in bed by how many people call you back for more. Only someone who enjoyed fucking you will come back for re-runs. If you have more call-backs than one night stands - you're okay. Unless you dwell in this "sneak attack" zone where you make them like you first, or as my ninja so eloquently puts it... you hire INTERNS, which is just plain foul play. So your foul ass might have to get direct customer reviews to find out where you stand behind closed doors. Happy counting!
Anyway, if I wait for 3 months - or as Lyfe advised - tell him I'm celibate... and now the D is just the size I like it - but still nothings poppin'... then what? Because I'm 24 and anyone whos been here for over 20 years should know how to handle a body by now, do I want to be your coach? No. Do I want to get Properly Laid? Yes. I've been in love with someone who was bad in bed before, it's no fun AT ALL (the rest is history). Let me be the one to tell you, getting them out of your bed is not an issue - it's the getting them out of your head part that's fucked up. So why should I bother knowing your favorite food (Until I know you know what to Do with the D)?
3. Is your Money where your Mouf is?
I love head. Any of my ninjas and ex's will tell you how much I love head... it is the shit. Like, for reals. Just put your whole face in it please. And men can smell this on me. Why else would I meet alot of men that like saying they'll eat it like a cannibal? but when push comes to shove... I wish they would! I hate it when I reeeally like someone that rarely gives head. My least favorite thing is to realize I spent a weekend giving head without getting it back... selfish lovers are disgusting to me. And I keep an extra eye out for them, because they're the SNEAKIEST. Once I realize I'm in a one sided sexual relationship... count me out.
4. As this blog comes to an end - I'd like to give special mention to longevity, and to sex drive. If you're a guy that can't last over ten minutes in bed, I need you to practice... I need you to last at LEAST 45 mins to an Hour, unless we're having a quickie. and if you don't like having sex at least once a day - you need not apply. Don't waste any of my time please.
This three month rule interferes with all factors. People are lovely, but if I can't have these things - I'm not dating you. Period. I'm 24 - I don't want to train someone, and then we break up, and then I go celibate again for another 3 months because I met someone else, and do this shit all over again. #nothanks. I've compromised enough! I've dated the small dick, the bad in bed, the one minute man, the one with a low low low libido, and the one stingy with head... why? BECAUSE I GOT TO KNOW THEM BEFORE TESTING THE GOODS.
To summarize this letter Mr. Jennings and Mr. Harvey - all I'm saying is...
Fuck That Shit.
[let that marinate... then] Come up with something else.
#thatisall
#gooddaysir!
#Iamdonehere
Monday, August 2, 2010
Mirror Mirror on the Wall...
I have bad news.
Your significant other represents you.
Yes, it's true. It's very seldom that you're blessed to find your equal. If you do - Good for you. If you're like the other 90% of lovers, then you have to work harder. And this one my friends, comes with a little tale...
This weekend was spent in the arms of my family. My family was coming from a wedding. That wedding sucked. ASS. What I personally saw from the wedding was the after party... which was by far the lousiest party I've been to in years, I thought it sucked because everyone was exhausted from the fab wedding. The next day I asked people how went the actual wedding? The food sucked (box mashed potatoes, canned green beans, saukraut cabbage, powdered gravy, and fried chicken) The music sucked (the couple is mixed, the bride was white and the groom was zimbabwean - the music was not culture considerate - so only one half of the room had a gas) and so on and so forth the atrocities went
Now. In America - Brides organize the wedding. Which really is no issue - but in this case - How was this girl supposed to know that Africans put weddings up on a pedestal? That Africans pick what to wear to a wedding MONTHS in advance? That Africans take weddings to such an extreme, that they NEED to be involved in the celebration... they will drive 13 hours to share this day with you? That Africans need a buffet style of home-made DELICIOUS food to select from? If this man was marrying an African Woman - they would have had excellent cuisine, they wedding guests would have danced all day and all night into a drunken celebratory stupor, they would have had gifts up to the ceiling... it would have been 100 times the wedding it was.
What I'm saying is - even though the wedding was fabulous for her (which it was. All the people who told me about the wedding commented on how happy she was - YAY!), it couldn't have been worse for him (it really couldn't). Everything she did for that wedding represents the couple, and since he wasn't involved she did exactly what she wanted to do - and it was such a low-bar in comparison to his culture's standards that he came out looking terrible.
If your significant other isn't case sensitive to you and you're a person who doesn't like being involved in "couple shit" - then you better have a lean-mean-super-human machine running the ship. Because when things like this happen - you look bad. Real Bad. There's nothing quite as ego-deflating as knowing your friends and family look down on your significant other because your lover can't cater to your standards. The older married African women who commented on this wedding said they feel bad for the bride - because of the adultery in his definite future. They said if that was their WEDDING, if the WEDDING day is representative of the quality of their relationship, then the relationship must be in shambles. And any girl who wanted to snatch him already knows where to hit... 0_0
Let this be a lesson to all you couples out there. Especially to you lazy bones who leave EVERYTHING to the other person... The things you do as a couple represent you as a couple. So if you give a shit about being in a fulfilling relationship - you gotta C.O.N.T.R.I.B.U.T.E
#bigbrotheriswatching
Your significant other represents you.
Yes, it's true. It's very seldom that you're blessed to find your equal. If you do - Good for you. If you're like the other 90% of lovers, then you have to work harder. And this one my friends, comes with a little tale...
This weekend was spent in the arms of my family. My family was coming from a wedding. That wedding sucked. ASS. What I personally saw from the wedding was the after party... which was by far the lousiest party I've been to in years, I thought it sucked because everyone was exhausted from the fab wedding. The next day I asked people how went the actual wedding? The food sucked (box mashed potatoes, canned green beans, saukraut cabbage, powdered gravy, and fried chicken) The music sucked (the couple is mixed, the bride was white and the groom was zimbabwean - the music was not culture considerate - so only one half of the room had a gas) and so on and so forth the atrocities went
Now. In America - Brides organize the wedding. Which really is no issue - but in this case - How was this girl supposed to know that Africans put weddings up on a pedestal? That Africans pick what to wear to a wedding MONTHS in advance? That Africans take weddings to such an extreme, that they NEED to be involved in the celebration... they will drive 13 hours to share this day with you? That Africans need a buffet style of home-made DELICIOUS food to select from? If this man was marrying an African Woman - they would have had excellent cuisine, they wedding guests would have danced all day and all night into a drunken celebratory stupor, they would have had gifts up to the ceiling... it would have been 100 times the wedding it was.
What I'm saying is - even though the wedding was fabulous for her (which it was. All the people who told me about the wedding commented on how happy she was - YAY!), it couldn't have been worse for him (it really couldn't). Everything she did for that wedding represents the couple, and since he wasn't involved she did exactly what she wanted to do - and it was such a low-bar in comparison to his culture's standards that he came out looking terrible.
If your significant other isn't case sensitive to you and you're a person who doesn't like being involved in "couple shit" - then you better have a lean-mean-super-human machine running the ship. Because when things like this happen - you look bad. Real Bad. There's nothing quite as ego-deflating as knowing your friends and family look down on your significant other because your lover can't cater to your standards. The older married African women who commented on this wedding said they feel bad for the bride - because of the adultery in his definite future. They said if that was their WEDDING, if the WEDDING day is representative of the quality of their relationship, then the relationship must be in shambles. And any girl who wanted to snatch him already knows where to hit... 0_0
Let this be a lesson to all you couples out there. Especially to you lazy bones who leave EVERYTHING to the other person... The things you do as a couple represent you as a couple. So if you give a shit about being in a fulfilling relationship - you gotta C.O.N.T.R.I.B.U.T.E
#bigbrotheriswatching
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