Remember how I said I'm gonna be more Honest this year like Michael Scott for my resolution? Yes.
As opposed to having a bunch of jump off's or being in an exclusive relationship - I choose to indulge in Lovers.
Lover's are like a smoothie blend of Jump Off's and Exclusivity. These are title-less shindigs, where I'm physically and emotionally connected but the relation is not that deep. And nobodies taking anyone to the motherfucking bank. Casual sex, with people I like.
WHY girl? ... Whhhhhyyyyy? I hear you asking. I have a few responses:
1. I'ont like being in a relationship. I mean. It's a cute idea, and I'ont know about ya'll but a bish starts feeling really stifled after a while. I feel like someone is strangling me in my sleep sometimes. Needless to say, I have DIRE commitment issues. I feel like I'd rather pursue my career diligently than pursue love (and them) ... Diligently. Too many emotional roller-coasters involved in this.
2. Jump off's are cool, but not as cool as possible for the job. I can't fuck someone to the fullest of my fuckability unless I know them and I Like them. Don't ask me, it's just something I've learned about my body. And obviously I can't be bothered to "know" someone who's not worth knowing. So that being said, my jump off's have been known to be some definitely date-able guys. They landed as jump off's because of circumstantial issues (i/e falling under dick requirements, sexual performance requirements or geographical requirements ...)
I settle upon Lovers.
Lovers fall under this wonderful umbrella. There is NO title. Whatever goes on between us is absolutely confidential, and suffers NOTHING from "Them" "They" and "The People". I answer to no one about how my relationship is going, because it is not a "relationship". I introduce them to none of my family and friends in a serious manner and likewise. I've found that when I see dudes in this fashion, away from the speculation and the interrogation, everything is better. Maybe that is why Official Relationships stifle me ... because I have to answer to SO many people about any and everything. It's waaaaay too much pressure ... especially since I like keeping my private life private.
But More Importantly. When I like someone ... their dick swells.
Not literally. I'm just saying. I could casually see someone and not think anything of anything, but when I actually "like" someone ... this same penis that wasn't anything worth writing in the diary about all of a sudden becomes this Large, and Wholesome thing!! No Lies. I thought I was imagining this but no.
I had an ex, whom I adored, and really thought his dick was something worth choking on. After we broke up we had "for old times sake" sex and I couldn't help but laugh. Was this really the SAME EXACT cock??? ... Really? ... . . . . . the same ONE? Oh. Okay.
Anyway Doe. Lovers are JUST involved enough for me to qualify as something that I enjoy smashing regularly and am capable of being seen in public with irregularly, but at the same time - are not IN my life intricately enough to really fuck up my daily moods or even pressurize me into monogamy. It's this relaxed environment that I thrive in. No Pressure. All Love. I can discuss things and get logical responses. I can enjoy myself. I appreciate that.
Who am I to say, "No." to such perfection?
Who wouldn't enjoy a people who are there for the sole purpose of pleasing you and yet are not involved with you enough to influence your energy? I don't like the idea of "hoping" that my partner is as dedicated to peace and happiness and fulfillment as I am. And only find out that their thesis to life is in a whole 'nother book. Never mind chapter, or page. It's the perfect temperature for casual bliss. I'll think about exclusivity when I can afford it. literally. I'm talking dollars and cents. When I have a house and a car and egyptian cotton sheets, we can discuss taking relationships to the next level. Polygamy. LOL. I keeeeed I keeeeed I joke. (Laughing but very serious. Me and three husbands. The story is to be continued)
Call me x (hahahahahaha!!) <<< that is my Evil Laugh.
I so agree with this one.
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