Now, I'm a Believer

I'm gonna do something I don't usually do and talk about my real life. Specifically, my boyfriend. I'm strangely feeling secure. I've been a psychopath about getting comfortable in a relationship since the past few ones were the most emotionally taxing experiences I've ever had in my life, but instead of always blogging about debauchery and fuckery - and suddenly going silent blog-wise because 1. I'm so busy and 2. I'm in a happy relationship - I've decided to say "fuck it", I'm in a happy long distance relationship - and even if it never works out - these moments are so real they're palpable.

Being an international person has allowed alot of global expansion on relationships. Whereas some people I know think living in a different zip code is considered long distance - I've managed to learn the art of maintaining deep, and indeed profound, label-less relationships across oceans by the power of skype, text, email, and phone calls. I can definitely say long distance will make a relationship more physically passionate, but is it worth the loneliness? I can definitely say no. Unless you stumble upon an Exception.

Like they say in "He's just not that into you" - you have the rule, then you have the exceptions to the rules. I don't do long distance. I've tried a few times, it just frustrates the shit out of me, and I once regrettably cheated on a guy that was obsessed with me - and the relationship crumbled. Pathetically. So what makes me try again? And what makes this guy the Exception?

1. A little more-than-usual-background. As you may or may not already know - We have founded our entire relationship on chance encounters. We met as kids at a church program in Malawi that I just happened to be at. He claims he had a crush on me, and I noticed him enough to remember him. About 7 years later, we're at a club as teenagers, dancing to Kwaito - where one thing leads to making out outside the club. I find out he now lives in New York. We mildly entertain each other. 8 Years later, I'm in New York, and we bump into each other at a mutual friends party and make out again. We decide making out every 7-8 years is becoming silly. Let's talk. What kind of music do you like, sir?

2. A little more-than-usual-compatibility. As you may or may not already know - I've been in raging war with Cupid since February this year. I think this is Cupid's peace offering. My guy and I have a crazy busy schedule - and he's not as socially soiled as I am. But his innocence and pure intentions truly puts my past time hobbies to shame. This whole thing to me was interpreted extremely casually, until one particular conversation in which we discussed political matters with such feverency - I made note of it in my diary... I wrote something like, "anyone who knows what I'm talking about minus explanation in African Politics is probably my soul mate". He took this conversation to the bank too, and then HE initiated a flight to New York for a weekend that blew my romance-starved socks off of my cynical and cold feet.

This compatibility I mention is the pre-sex compatibility - which I was convinced doesn't exist, since I usually find nothing outside of the boudoir worth pursuing. Without sex, I'd communicate with a countable-on-one-hand number of men. I'm just not interested in most of the topics most men are interested in, so why not just call them when I need them? (If I was a man and I said that about women, I'd be called a masochistic, and sexist pig)

3. He's generally a seriously easy guy to love. I don't know if it's due to our freakishly similar quality of upbringing, or what. I don't like fighting - he doesn't like fighting. He's a bigger romantic than I am. I sometimes wish I had dated him while I was still young, and naively in love with love - only because it would have been disgusting. I've never been in a disgusting relationship before. I suspect it's entertaining. But I also suspect if I didn't get him, some cold-blooded bitch would have and she probably would have totally ruined him for us while she was at it. He has a definite career - he pursues it diligently, he's focused, hygienic, romantic, dedicated, tri-lingual, healthy, thoughtful, and I know like I know that I'm black that he cares for me enough to never intentionally hurt me. Knowing this simple truth alone sky rockets him to the very top of the heap, because as far as I can tell - I've never definitely felt that about any man I've been involved with.

It's quite a serious, and positively intense relationship. Our parents are aware of the relationship even though the amount of time we've spent in each others physical presence doesn't even add up to a month. I see him every few months, and only for a very short time. He's involved in every aspect of my life - a feat never before conquered, but tried. His effort is astonishing. A wise woman recently told me, "Good people, just plain old Good People are extremely hard to find. When you find one, hold on to them tight. When you're young, you think these types of things happen often, it's only when you're older that you know the value of a Good Person."

Long Distance, especially this one has taught me a lot about the flesh, and how precious it is. The feel of the skin, the smell of it, the effect of ones flesh on another's flesh. Also in my diary is something along the lines of, "I know I'm in a long distance relationship because in each others presence, one never physically releases the other"... people think all that happens in LDR's is crazy fucking on sight. Which is definitely true, but the undercurrent of relationships is the undervalued privilege of simple contact. It's hard to be in an LDR, but all I'm trying to say is - SOMETIMES, there are exceptions to rules. Don't be fooled by my anti-cupid-ness... even I know a good thing when I feel it. This is one of them.

Peace.

Are Ugly People are better in bed?

So, I'm sitting here listening to Jozen (untiligetmarried.com) tell me that Ugly Women are better in bed. I almost asked for confirmation on my facebook and twitter page (facebook search: A Pretty Girls Blog. Twitter search: a pretty girl blog) but then I disregard it. Why? Everything is relative.

The rumor is, "the uglier you are, the harder you try." Not True.


The best I had in bed was an Ugly guy. The reasons he didn't last on the payroll could fill a book, but... If I could bottle his shit and sell it as a street drug - I would. It would go by the name, "Anaconda".

The worst I had in bed was an Fugly guy. Why I even bothered is beyoooond me (*singing if I could turn back the hands of time* and *blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol*)

So then onto other arenas - Jozen also mentioned ugly girls are less of a headache. He recommended dimes behave like a 7, and 7's behave like a 5 for brownie points. To that I say, you think Pretty Girl's are headaches? I'll take your Pretty Girl and raise you a Pretty Boy. That's a migrane. Anyone that takes time in physically pruning themselves isn't going to be easy to live with. It takes alot of raw materials to make a canvas a masterpiece. Let me shoot a few at you: makeup, gym, weights, vegan life, sexy underwear, mirrors, camera's, hair salons, shaving sticks, wax, weaves, designer clothes (or just a plain old Fashion Sense), nice car, pedicures, manicures, facial masks, therapy, fake eyelashes, pretty friends... Why do they work so hard to look good? To attract the type of person that can afford them that lifestyle. Also, Why should they work that hard for physical glory just to be nice? What's the point then? They have the Right to be assholes. They're beautiful! You're lucky to find one with a personality Jozen, just take what you can get! Like Jay-Z said... "She's used to million dollar vacations, fuck ya'll gon' do with that? When you're used to filet mignon, it's kinda hard to go back to Hamburger Helper. But it's your choice though baby"

But, there are also nice people that are beautiful. Tyra.

As a conclusion... pretty, or fugly... some people are douchebags through and through. They could look like an inside out rectum and still have a shitty attitude. It has nothing to do with your looks, it has everything to do with your upbringing.

#I'mdone.