Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Official Facebook Rulebook

1. Thou shalt not put crazy looking shit in between your first name and last name.... Bobby Ĥ㺥ĤėāŕţfŏŗMïŋĭśťŗŷ Brown... uh... no. #thatsDEFINITELYnotit.

2. Thou shalt not compromise one's character. For instance, if you're a female who's dating, beautiful, 3-job having because you have mouths to feed... there's no reason in hell you should write a status that sounds something like "I don't think women can do anything other than be barefoot in the kitchen, and they definitely can't be president" stop contradicting yourself. Either be barefoot in the kitchen and write that status, or be independent and write a status that involves women as presidents. Don't do both.

3. Thou shalt not put your business on your Facebook. Facebook does not need to know when you and your significant other are having problems. It's awkward. We don't know whether to chime in, or what. Go ahead and vent when you're feeling negative, but don't say "you" did this and "you" suck ass for it... now we all know you guys have a fucked up relationship and one only intensifies the "loser" light on oneself because guess what... you're the one who's putting up with it.

4. Thou shalt not write on other peoples walls and then get annoyed when other people read and comment. If you want a private conversation, you send a message.

5. Ohh Lawd. This is an important one... THOU SHALT NOT TELL FACEBOOK WHEN YOU'RE ON YOUR PERIOD. We all know women bleed once a month. Announcing it is unnecessary, and some of us (actually, I took a poll... MOST of us...) Reeeeaallly needn't know. It's like telling facebook your water just broke. Ummm #nothanks.

This list will grow. I can promise you that.

2 comments:

  1. LMAO. I think an add on to #1 should be also not to put your name as something crazy example being NoSwagNeeded or BustaNut. I mean come on

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  2. LMAO! I just wonder sometimes... do you see what I see? obviously, YES.

    ReplyDelete