Babies are the new Wedding Rings.
Let that marinate.
Urban Dictionary:
"1. keep a nigga baby
A situation when a female is disillusioned into thinking that having a man's baby will keep him from leaving her. She purposely gets pregnant by him in hopes that things will improve or work out but they seldom do."
Rings are coveted because it's rumored to be that ONE guarantee that PROMISES to GOD that this person will never leave you forever and ever and ever and ever, Amen. In case that never happens (because we all know how unlikely it is to happen, in America) you think of alternatives. i/e living together, and the Golden Ram... Babies. This isn't just about females, I know some dudes that are guilty of pushing the baby idea. The Baby pitch is used when one feels like it's not enough to have the person you love, you need some guarantees! You need some solid objects, some hard core evidence that this love is not only real, it's reincarnated! They need something that will literally be a daily reminder of why you should stay together. Having a baby with someone means, they'll try harder with you, for the baby. It means it'll be harder to leave you, because of the baby. It means, whenever the thought of abandoning you creeps in, so does the baby. Best of all, it means you are eternally connected... no matter what, you'll never be fully rid of each other. It's more than a ring, it's a blood pact... only two kinds of people find this appealing... people in love, and insecure people --> because they REALLY.... REEEAAAAALLLLLYYYYY don't want to be alone <--- (Question, if you don't like being with you, why should I?... #somethingtothinkabout)
It's hard not to be insecure (...I guess...) and if you let insecurity take over you, it's a vortex you can damn near never escape. I feel like, some people don't even realize why they want a baby so badly. If you need a baby to ensure that you're never left alone, then you either need another partner, or a therapist. #yourchoice.
All I'm saying is, birth children into love. Not into Leverage.
#thatisall.
Hopefully, I didn't pull any of your heart strings. I know how sensitive some people are, but I'm not throwing #shade, just making mere observations.
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'birth children into love, not into leverage'
ReplyDeleteI like that a lot.
Chhuuuuuchh! I've been waiting for someone to write honestly about this. I read your blog, but I need to comment more often. Unfortunatley, I became close with someone in this situation where his girl used a baby as her way of permantly committing, especially since she doesn't have her own and she's not an independent woman. I realized that where a man is, is where he wants to be, even if where he wants to be is out of obligation, cause of the kids. I had to distance myself and then all I could do is SMDH. Call me old fashioned, but I'd just rather prefer to do things in order.
ReplyDeletei agree with the majority of this message, i think it's really insightful, BUT, i don't really know how you (and other people) can come forth with stereotypes about America and how possible or likely marriage is there unless you've been living there and trying to get married and experienced it firsthand...
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