On Marriage

I feel dilemmad. (I'm aware this is not english)... I feel like I expect too much from my relationships. Unfortunately, I think I'm one of the lucky ones. I'm not afraid of Wanting what I Want, and creating the environment to get it. So what is it I want? A counter intuitive love. I want a significant other that understands me. Understands what it is I want from them, and from life. I just want to be happy, and loved... like everyone else does. I don't want to ask twice for anything, I don't want to do EVERYTHING. (as it seems us women are doomed to do sometimes) I just want to be treated as an equal. I'm a believer in the 'Treat others as you treat yourself" belief system. But at the same time, All this qualifies me as one of the unlucky ones. Why? Because I refuse to settle for less. I REFUSE! I deny deny deny!! I know exactly what I want, and because of that sole reason, I've shot myself in the foot. It might take literally forever to get what I want, and it might be at the sacrifice of having a traditional life. I might find what I want after menopause.
Three days ago a new friend of mine indirectly told me that I let go of relationships too easy, AFTER telling me a whole story of how she remained put in a three year, abusive in any way you can imagine relationship, TWICE in a row. So I walked away thinking, "Excuse me for putting myself first." If she had my policies, she might have saved herself 6 years in two bullshit dead end unhealthy relationships. Not trying to sound self righteous but, can I get an AMEN?!