Wolf in Sheeps Skin

A wolf in sheeps skin opened a brand new door on Saturday (you'll later see what this means in detail below - the funny thing is, he doesn't know I know he's a wolf. His teeth are bared under that fake ass wool) An Epiphany.. if you must. That the best way to really KNOW somebody - hear this - is to date them. To date them as the not-getting-married dating, the casual dating. You'll go through the motions, the honeymoon phase and whatever else, then embrace not being THE ONE by truly discovering who a person is. That's when someone will treat you exactly the way they WANT to treat you, and you'll see true colors.
Most girls want... (or should I say 'Go For') Assholes. Why? There's something about assholes. It's the way they carry themselves, the way they speak to you, the way they talk like they can fuck your brains out and splatter them all over the wall, the way they play the kiss-catch, hot-cold, game. They're unpredictable. Exciting. Rewarding. A Real Catch... also, assholes are talented at pretending to be an okay guy 'underneath it all'. Usually, assholes are graced with the, "he's nice once you get to know him" card. But these are the obvious assholes... the Wolves. I'm talking about the guys you were genuinely convinced were nice people, and turned out to be extra basic assholes. I dare to compare them to the characters I hear men go on about all the time, the women who pretend to be exactly what you want... and then later reveal they're ugly medusa heads. they need a name. mmm. thinking, thinking... bitches. There's the obvious ones... they're openly materialistic, shallow and so uncool. Then there's the ones who figure out how to fake being an okay-chic... only to later reveal herself.
The one who dates these wolves in sheeps skin are the ones who can probably argue that they know these people better than they know themselves. People might say your friends KNOW you know you, but friends only see aspects of you at given times. Think about it, refer back to the last not-serious relationship you had...

The Chase

I know I was supposed to finish 'Let's Play A Love Game' but I'm too PG13 (that's my code word for being R rated) to put what I specifically want in my ideal significant other online. So I decided to delete it.

THE CHASE.
I'm so INTO the chase, I like figuring out what goes where. When it comes to Hunting, silence speaks volumes. The less you talk the more they want, because mystery is a turn on. But only in the beginning. You can't keep pulling the mysterious string, (because eventually mystery looks like you're not interested, and your game will run out and you might find yourself missing a predator). I'm intrigued by an older man where I work. Why? Because He used to sit opposite me, and I remember him smiling at me unassumingly but never really saying anything. And he has hella fashion-sense. Fast forward two weeks and I'm going to work early (unheard of) to catch a glimpse of him because he now works on another floor. He says only a few words, but he maintains eye contact, remains a gentleman, and gives you 100% of his attention while he's with you. If that's the sample, Throw it in the bag. Coz I like it.
Now, let's say he acted like the blue eyed gay looking guy that has taken an interest in harassing me, he would be 1. running after me after work, 2. looking for me at lunch and all mini-breaks 3. Sound like he's selling something when he talks 4. Have no sense of fashion or MORE IMPORTANTLY... style. 5. DOES NOT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. These little bullet points are all the ways you can get reported for bitchassness on the clock. Had he acted like the older man, things might have been different (Although I doubt it, if it wasn't his dysfunctional personality, it might have been his face) but I wouldn't be writing this blog about the difference between seduction and repulsion. The Chase, and The Late. If you want someone to want you, seduce them. Find out what your best features are and sell it, and you do this by MONITORING them, not blowing up their phone, talking to them all the damn time, following them around... and shit. Not hot. If only the blue eyed monster could chill the fuck out. Excuse my french.

There's so much to learn from Quietly Confident people. They don't really put themselves forward, but they make their presence known, in their stillness. Somehow everyone knows they're there, from their Swagger Vibes. All the men I've ever been SERIOUSLY into are Quietly Confident. Don't let that work suit fool you, they handle their business.

I Used To Be Love Drunk (Love Hater)

Maybe I'm just going through post-breakup cynicism. In my eyes, all relationships are doomed. If it seems perfect, I conjure up all it's imperfections in my mind, and see very clearly why they shouldn't be together anyway. You know the power of manifestation right? If you believe it, it comes true. Sure enough, I see the chinks in most relationships, which only confirms why I might never be happy (because I see things too clearly, and do not have enough faith in humans) Basically, if a relationship feels good to me, that particular butterfly feelings' short lived life span comes to smack me across the face and say, "Don't be smiling too hard now!" Then in a whirlwind of events I end up exactly where I am now. But, the dark cloud has a silver lining! If you spot it, you ain't got it. (Meaning, when you see the problem, you aren't a part of it anymore) That tells me no matter what I say, I have a vain hope for my love life. I've always said that if I don't get married, I'll have a series of life partners, and that's nothing to be proud of. (If you are my mother)

I saw a photograph of President Barrack Obama taking his wife out to dinner for their anniversary, and I wondered where their relationship falls short. I was love drunk, but now I'm hung over. Pass me an asprin. Now.

The BIG Disconnect

So. A current conversation has given me new material to ponder about. The 'Honeymoon Phase'. We were talking about marriage and I was explaining that I fear 'my guy' isn't out there. Who is my guy? It's complicated. My Guy is the better version of my love interest... and more. I really like the beginning of a relationship, because that's the guy I want. Over time, as we all know, we find out the honeymoon phase was as it named itself to be... A PHASE. The real thing pops it's ugly head out for all to see. I try to be the same throughout the relationship so I attract someone who remains constant too. Someone dedicated to excellence.
Then my guy friend pops the fantasy. Why does a guy even bother with a honeymoon phase? Sex. I don't get it. I don't see the point of faking your personality for sex, but I can't judge. I've never had a penis and I have no clue what men go through relationship wise. Of course, that's why prostitution is a big business, because relationships are taxy. Men need to jump a million hoops to get a pussy pass. A car, a crib, a job, extra cash for entertainment... bla bla bla. Most men need to be on their best behaviour until they get laid. Most men know they need to be super boyfriend in the beginning to keep you. That goes for both sides too, a lot of women pretend to be someone better than they truly are in the beginning too. Lemme throw this out there; What if, nobody pretended? What if we were to be the best version of ourselves twenty four seven. What would happen then? Two people + 100% of themselves = A Quality Relationship? I should hope so!

Rezpo

I'm suddenly aware of how fierce about my money I've become. Over the years I tried to squeeze in the easy slot of womanhood, to not be so damn thursty. But I am, and I can't pretend that bullshit doesn't bother me. I'm about my business, but I'm surrounded by people who are not about they business... (I distort english on purpose). I end up looking like I'm forever PMSing. That being said, I know I won't die unsuccessful. Once upon a time, I put on my facebook status an African proverb; The lion does not turn around when the small dog barks. What does this mean? A Lion protects all members of it's pride and dares anything to test it's gangsta. The Lioness hunts with fierce passion, proves she's a killer, but can still treat her cubs with the ultimate gentleness. Lions roam freely, set up boundaries and claim any territory they want. Not because they cut up and punk everything around them, but because they are so fierce, so together, so about they business that nothing fucks with them. Their respect is inherent and non-negotiable.

The small dog. That issue makes a whole lotta noise. Dressed in pink sweaters and shit, chilling in an oversized purse. No control, No territory, and only gets attention when someone decides to pet it. It's time-out to want to be decorated and carried around! It's time out for proving points and wondering why you're not getting anywhere! My life is about prosperity. Monetary multiplication. I want everyone in my pride pulling their own weight, I set boundaries in my life because I'm allergic to bullshit and I can't have it oozing into my space and shit, but they don't determine how far I can go. I can break out of my comfort zone to handle business.

This is all I have to say to you all. Be so fierce with your goals and decisions that respect is non-negotiable. You might have to go out searching for what you need alone, do what you gotta do. Alot of times you'll have people depending on you when your head alone is barely above the water, but get more territory anyway and make room for you and yours. Attack negativity with a killer mentality, but treat others with a Lioness gentleness, balance it out. When you realize who you are and your potential, foolishness becomes a thing of the past. Negativity, selfishness, and using others is beneath you. Get on your business.

On Marriage

I feel dilemmad. (I'm aware this is not english)... I feel like I expect too much from my relationships. Unfortunately, I think I'm one of the lucky ones. I'm not afraid of Wanting what I Want, and creating the environment to get it. So what is it I want? A counter intuitive love. I want a significant other that understands me. Understands what it is I want from them, and from life. I just want to be happy, and loved... like everyone else does. I don't want to ask twice for anything, I don't want to do EVERYTHING. (as it seems us women are doomed to do sometimes) I just want to be treated as an equal. I'm a believer in the 'Treat others as you treat yourself" belief system. But at the same time, All this qualifies me as one of the unlucky ones. Why? Because I refuse to settle for less. I REFUSE! I deny deny deny!! I know exactly what I want, and because of that sole reason, I've shot myself in the foot. It might take literally forever to get what I want, and it might be at the sacrifice of having a traditional life. I might find what I want after menopause.
Three days ago a new friend of mine indirectly told me that I let go of relationships too easy, AFTER telling me a whole story of how she remained put in a three year, abusive in any way you can imagine relationship, TWICE in a row. So I walked away thinking, "Excuse me for putting myself first." If she had my policies, she might have saved herself 6 years in two bullshit dead end unhealthy relationships. Not trying to sound self righteous but, can I get an AMEN?!

The Honesty Policy

I personally don't understand why people aren't more honest with each other. Not only is it more fun, it's more lubricated. For instance, if you don't mind getting cheated on, if you have no qualms with open relationships, you should probably say it before you cheat. So at least your true nature is on the table and there will by no psychotic lies being spun. Those are so last Tuesday. Why pretend you prefer having as much sex as possible, when in all actuality you prefer having sex about 3 times a week. Or once a week? why risk the chance of attracting a freak with false advertising, and then fall sexually short? I just don't get it anymore. I don't see the point of cheating anymore, (unless you're married of course. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. If I get to it.) because I feel we're all adults, we're all choosing to be where we are. So act like it. Moral of story, If you don't want it, leave it alone. Someone else will know what to do with it. Why force a significant other to erase their networking accounts, some people don't allow others to go on a night out without them. Others, can't stand their 'others' to have opposite sex friends... I don't care if we have emotions. If all the psycho's I've ever known just kept it real with me, if every guy I've ever dated told me who they REALLY were at the beginning, I would have been intoxicated with the realness! Same things might have happened, but it would have been handled differently. With a nice touch of humanity.
Hie, My name is Thobe, and I don't like being bamboozled.